i'm back " in the few past week..
real lot of happy & sad memory come to me
feeling tat i'm now no longer a small kid
finally, i know
what's sad ??
what's pain ??
what's de feeling when u lost someone inportant in ur life !!
pain tat u cant control" u feel it when it come to u

6th july'10 ,tuesday ~ mum keep calling me !! when i saw **3 missed call** on my phone
when i return call , mum is busy on the other line ..
is my uncle i think =)
she end up the call , tell me that my grandma end up her life this morning
i'm total stunt for a minute and say "no joking mom" .. **crying**
end up - i'm crying ~ cry ~ cry ~ cry and cry till nobody business !!
v rush back hometown by the time v reach it's almost 10 in the nite ..
have to "bai bai" once v step into the house before v did do any other thing ..
take a step to the back & 've a look at my grandma ..
my 1st time looking at death in coffin,
i'm scared but i tell my self everything will be ok
and this will be the last time i get to see her face to face ! face to face !!

wednesday

* burn offering - it should be none stop giving offering so everybody take turn keep on burning & burning.. as much as v can.. so mum & aunty nvr sleep for 2 nite!!

* mourn ceromony - it last for 2 day ! as i know diff religion have diff way of mourning
their death family..
basically kneel down , stand up , sit down , kneel down stand up , sit down!
keep on repeating till he finish reading bible on his hand.. "it quit thick"
holding a joss stick & pray !! till it finish burning..
ceromony end about 2 in the mid-nite,
i'm freaking tired till i just drop on the bed & get into dream land, so i could meet my grandma!!

thrusday morning , it's was my grandma last day on earth !!
it's her last journey that we could accompany her in our eternity life..
to accompany her in her last journey
we all walk [abt 5km] from grandma house to the main entrance on the village
as grandma prefer cremation.. and all her son have to respect , to grant her wish..
and yeah, what i wanna ask is "when the coffin were push into the oven why cant we cry??"
as i just cant control my tear but to act strong ==
the ceromony end when the coffin were push IN ~
up next - we when to a restaurant to have lunch 2gether as it's well prepare
later - when home " cross over the fire basket " "wash from top to toe with flower water" leave the bad behind and all brand new come into me & my family as well =)

friday morning , we when back to the cemetery place again ..
as i know is to pick up the bone with chop-stick & place it into the Jed Vase
bla bla bla ... so on next just keep it as my memory
when for lunch and v when back K.L
everything is done, back to normal
but something cant change is grandma leave us..
face it !

the end ,,

by,
elaine khong
23th july 2010
11.05a.m